I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
