i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear