After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed