I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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