I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.