I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.