Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you inspire me to be a worse person
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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