When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
