i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
