what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
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If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
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it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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