When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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