the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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