Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
