how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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