I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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