He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
