Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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