I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
