first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
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Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
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i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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