i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Even my vagina gasped.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
