i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
