i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
