He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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