I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
