i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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