My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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