I showed him my bush... on skype.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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