So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize