i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
