and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
