a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
