I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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