have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
