Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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