"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize