2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
