how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm too high and old for this...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
