I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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