I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
