you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
