Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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