The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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