Dual....:-)
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
