Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
