At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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