He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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