I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
