I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
