I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
