i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
