so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
