He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
