so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize