Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
