Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
