Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
