I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize