just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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