if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
