Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
