I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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