Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
