My room smells like vodka and shame
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
this is an emotional support booty call
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize